It's Curtains for Ya

I may or may not be a domestic genius...but I probably am.

My bedroom windows have curtains, and guess what? I sewed them!!!! No pattern, no preplanning, no real focus at all. But they look great.

Sometimes life smiles on good people. Sometimes planets align and the dice land in your favor. Sometimes fate gently rocks you in her arms and reads you "Goodnight Moon" while butterflies gently brush your feet with velvety wings. Sometimes written imagery gets a little weird.

But one of the most important things I've learned while being a homeowner is that I'm capable of a lot more than I thought I was. I think most people don't even attempt DIY projects, but the more I do, the more I realize I CAN do. I have drywalled. I have ripped up my own carpets. I have even demolished an entire plaster wall. Granted, none of these projects were fun. In fact I've started the tradition of crying uncontrollably during each DIY project. But after I've wiped away the tear stains that have rolled through the plaster dust on my cheeks, I feel strong.

I'm no super woman. Anyone can do these projects. It just takes time...and the desire.

So the curtains in my bedroom are gently blowing in the breeze as I speak. I'm a domestic genius!!!

...Though the disintegrating mortar under the kitchen window will continue to laugh at me. I will get you mortar! I will learn how to point brick!...but not today, I'm scared. Today, I am just a genius with new curtains!

What's That Mysterious Smell?

Lets face it, sometimes your house smells weird and you have no idea why.

Last night I came home. Heaved my bike up the front steps and unlocked the first door. Rolled my Schwinn clunker into the portico. Unlocked the second door. Opened the second door.

Wham.

It hit me.

"What is that smell?" I said out loud, though my roommate had left for the airport hours before.

Let the search begin. I turned every light in the house on with absolute certainty that the culprit would be illuminated. Cat puke, maybe, or a dead mouse. I wanted to be prepared so I imagined the worst.

I vacuumed, dusted, opened windows, looked under every piece of furniture...nothing. The cat playfully rolled around on the floor, grabbing my attention. I glared at him. He glared back, daring me to find evidence to prove his guilt.

Still nothing. So I went to bed.

This morning I didn't smell anything weird. Even this evening everything smells normal. Has the smell gone? Or...(horror scream!) have I become one of those people who doesn't know her house stinks!

My Aunt and Cousin are visiting this weekend. Will they love me enough to be honest?

How to Hang Window Boxes

If you want to make friends with people on your block, work on the front of your house.

Because I don't have the masonry skill to point the brick that needs pointing (look for a blog on that soon though!) and I lack a yard to landscape, my front of house renovation relied entirely on two very capable window boxes.

I've wanted to hang window boxes for months and have even had window boxes sitting my basement just begging to wow the neighborhood (Christmas gift from my delightful Aunt Connie). They're black cast iron, sturdy and adorable! But I just haven't had the time or the know-how to attach them to the brownstone beneath the window sill. According to my contractor cousin, Geoff (not Jeff), it takes a special drill bit and special screws and blah, blah, blah (I loose concentration when people talk about tools for too long).

So, I went to Lowe's to see what help they could offer.

Not much.

But I did have a hilarious interaction with one employee named Dave who advised me to seal the screw hole with "Cah-ahleck".

"What is cah-ahleck?" I asked.

"It's this white stuff that comes in a tube and you use this gun thing to squeeze it out into cracks and stuff." He answered.

"Oh, you mean caulk?" I offered.

"Yes, cock." he bashfully responded.

We blushed then uncomfortably went our separate ways.

So by the time I left Lowe's I had a new masonry drill bit, 3 1/4" long masonry screws that can hold up to 500 lbs each and a renewed sense of confidence in Geoff's advice. But when I got home I discovered that my Porter Cable cordless drill didn't have enough "gusto" as they say in show biz.

So, back to Lowe's (for the 4th time this week) to rent an electric drill that, according to the rental guy, drilled through iron.

This guy is a liar.

It took a total of 3 hours to drill 4 holes. And the 3 1/4" long screws were out of the question, so I convinced myself that if "cah-ahlecked" properly, 1 1/2 " masonry screws would be totally sufficient.

And my window boxes look darling!

Helpful Tips to Remember:

Use a masonry drill bit and make sure it's the one you need to drill the correct sized hole for the screw you're using. I used a 3/16" drill bit for my 1/4" screws.

If drilling into brick, drill into the mortar.

If drilling into brownstone, become a person of prayer.

After drilling the hole and before drilling in the screw, squeeze a little bit of caulk (or whatever you want to call it) into the hole to protect it from erosion.

Updates

The School with the banner "We Made Adequate Yearly Progress in 2005" has replaced the banner with an advertisement for the school's Spring production of "The Wiz". I will not be attending.

The Rooster has grown more daring and has taken to sitting outside the bathroom window, taunting my cat.