My Fingers Are Bleeding

When I bought my "adventure", there were projects I expected to do in the first year:

new plumbing in basement (with the help of a plumber)

fix nicks and holes in walls

paint all walls

rip up carpet

refinish wood floors (with the help of a contractor)

These are the projects I have done in the first 9 months:

new plumbing in basement (with the help of a plumber)

fix nicks and holes in walls

demolish plaster wall in bedroom

drywall wall in bedroom

paint all walls

fix singed wall from electrical fire

rip up carpet

remove 5481 staples from the floors (by hand)

remove 2 layers of linoleum under the carpet (linoleum was designed to look like wood)

gut bathroom

complete bathroom remodel (with the help of a contractor)

fix hole in dining room ceiling from bathroom leak

expose bricks in living room (with the help of a contractor)

hang new fans in kitchen and living room

complete kitchen remodel (with the help of a contractor)

hang window boxes

fix dishwasher (4 times)

Maybe there's more but at this point, all the blisters on my hands start to look the same.

One day, in the middle of the kitchen remodel, the carpet removal and plaster wall demolition, I received word from my old landlord that the crappy cat I had adopted may have brought fleas into his property. He took my entire security deposit and probably took a sweet little vacation.

What a precious.

After reading the letter with my hands covered in plaster dust, my weary and discouraged body sank onto the filthy, hazardous floor. I looked around and for the first time recognized the completely hopeless state I was in. My fingers were blistered and bleeding and a staple was solidly lodged in my heal. At that moment my furry little charity case came purring up to comfort me. His big black kitten eyes locked their gaze with mine, he opened his sweet little mouth in what looked to be a sympathetic smile then proceeded to chomp down on my arm, his razor sharp teeth sinking deeply into my defenseless flesh.

A welcome out of body experience allowed me to enjoy the entire scene from a corner of the ceiling. I saw a 20 something woman, wearing paint covered cheerleading shorts from the 8th grade, covered in paint and plaster with a young cat chewing on her arm. I saw her shoulders heaving in uncontrollable sobs and a clean pool of blood forming through the bottom of her sock. The thought came to me, "Maybe I should shut these windows so her neighbors don't hear." The crying went on for much longer than I had expected but before the shoulders stopped shuttering, a smile came to the woman's face.

And as quickly as I had left, I was back in my own body gasping for breath between the sobs... and smiling. I remember actually saying out loud, "This is amazing. This whole situation is absolutely ridiculous."

And that's when I got the idea for a blog.